So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
