Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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