By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
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