In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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