You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
