You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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