The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize