So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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