The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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