so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
