i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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