just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.