I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
