My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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