Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
