you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
