I cannot find my penis.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
