I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just took my morning after pill in the library
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
