Is it because I queefed?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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