btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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