so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
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I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
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AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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