she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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