Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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