Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
