I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
