So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize