i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
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Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
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Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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