let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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