If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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