dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
