oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
