i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
