Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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