How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The adults are the big ones right?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize