You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
