I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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