Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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