we have officially lost it.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
