his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
