He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
