I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
