I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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