Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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