theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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