You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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