I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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