Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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