My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
