But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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