So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I lost the right to judge tonight
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
