just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
