trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
