she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
