She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
