the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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