whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
