Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize