It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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