i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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