if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
