): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It's rum buckets o'clock
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
