I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
We are all done wearing pants today
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
